Days 31-40


Day 31

I am so grateful for friendships that last no matter what, the friendships that grow sweeter over more time spent apart than time together. I have two very close friends that fit this bill. We only spent four years together, and that was five years ago now. We are closer now than we were previously. Those four years created the ability for us to go months without speaking and years without seeing each other. I am grateful for the bond that fuels this friendship, because the time we do spend together is so beautiful and life-giving.

Day 32

Encouragement is the epitome of success. This blog endeavor is an undertaking that I do not take lightly, and one that I have mulled over and over and over (as seen in Days 3-5!). I finally shared this place with my dear friends, and received such amazing encouragement. The most encouraging note was, “I think you were made to be open about your honest reflection.” The words made to be struck me, and I was so grateful to hear them. It’s so helpful to receive confirmation that I am utilizing my efforts in the right way. To learn that my efforts matter to others makes this space even more special to me.

Day 33

Moving forward in faith is an interesting process. Knowing that I would not sign up for a big life-change, God provides the encouragement I need to keep walking the path leading to THE BIG CHANGE. I receive “signs” encouraging me to embrace this change, including: my husband laying out the logical facts which all point to this being for the best; my best friends saying, “you can do this!”; the TV promoteing eerily specific things from the same realm as this big impending change. Okay, God, I hear you, I see you. I keep going because I know that I don’t always know what’s best, so sometimes all I can do is lean on TV ads and signs.

Day 35

I am afraid of change when I can anticipate it happening. I don’t argue with change that happens whether I like it or not. It’s the change that I have the power to control that makes me nervous. What if I make the wrong choice? Still, I can acknowledge that the discomfort of staying the same outweighs the discomfort of walking through this change. I have outgrown the old way of doing things and I’m ready to shake things up a bit and pursue more of my goals. 

Day 37

I take a leap into the chasm of change and complete a phone interview for a new job. It goes well and I am invited to an in-person interview. The reason for all of my aforementioned nervousness is that this new job is most definitely a career change and I have no prior direct experience. But, I can’t stop thinking about it! I can’t stop hearing only great things about the company and the potential for growth I will have. More importantly, I can’t stop disliking my current position. For the past 20 months, I have been unhappy and wondering if there might be a better fit out there for me. Now seems like a good time to end that saga.

Day 38-39

These days are spent dwelling in limbo. What will happen, will I get the job, will this be a positive change? I sort of know already how this will pan out, but, as always, there is no guarantee. So also, what will happen if this job falls through? Anxious minds fuel themselves on questions, and I have a lot of questions.

Day 40

The interview is set to be on Day 40, the final day of Lent. When I realize this, I am incredulous. How can this be?? The timing, the signs, the universal forces of support all pointing to THE BIG CHANGE being something that I MUST DO, something that I should do. Spoiler alert: I got the job! Yes, on day 40 :).

Day 41

I participated in Lent this year to exercise my faith. I wanted a deep and lasting experience, so I chose to give up self-indulgent pity parties and decided to analyze myself and my surroundings instead. I wanted to seek out a truer version of myself and uncover the person I was designed to become. I have two major takeaways from Lent 2018.

First and foremost: I realized that I am here on this earth for my family, especially to serve and support my child. Secondly, timing is still everything. There is a proper time in which certain events will come to pass and there is comfort in accepting this truth.

I also set out to create positive change in my life. I wanted something tangible to come out of this season so I created this blog and accepted a new career path. I am now utilizing my efforts and abilities in a much more fitting way for me personally and professionally. For this I am indescribably grateful. 

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