Being a cool mom is probably an impossible goal to achieve with a teenager, so until that time comes I’m totally counting myself as a cool mom. Today I’d like to share with you the ways in which I am cool, in the hopes that you will realize just how cool you are, too.
I know the words to his favorite songs, movies, and books and I quote them often, which always puts a smile on his face. He helps “make” dinner and then we will just eat it right there in the kitchen, sitting on the floor. It’s weird and that’s what makes it cool.
There is no pretense when I am with him: I try to be as loud, goofy, and silly as possible. This lets him know that his version of loud, goofy, and silly is welcomed and encouraged, and we end up having a lot of great laughs. And when my animated facial expressions make him laugh hysterically, well, there is no better sound in the world.
When I honor who I am it opens the door for him to find himself. In these early years, there can be no better way to spend my time than to allow him to learn about himself. I work to embrace him as he is, even (especially) when it scares me. When he gets the opportunity to honor who he is innately without my input, he gets to be his real self. And he is always cool.
I give him time and space away from me, allowing him to do his own thing. I fight my tendency to “mom it all up” – I stop myself from controlling, fixing, nit picking, or changing every single inconsequential thing on the planet. You know what I’m talking about, and you know that it is a hard but good goal to not engage in such anal retentiveness. “Momming it all up” incapacitates your opportunity to be cool (and encouraging and happy).
Instead, I look for ways to make his day more magical and wondrous. Sometimes this means playing trucks enthusiastically, turning the living room into a hockey rink, or watching a movie with popcorn on the couch. The smile he gives me when we do something novel and life-giving together lets me know that our relationship is very rich with love, and lets me know that he thinks I’m pretty cool. So Mom, go out there and be your best shining self. We are all better than we think we are, after all, and we are designed to be the coolest mom to our very own coolest kid.