Initially, I was nervous to step into the land of blogging. I was fearful that no one would care to read or that I wouldn’t be able to keep my private life separate from my writing. I watched as the most successful bloggers consistently let their readers into their personal lives, which made me feel uneasy. I wanted to write, but I also wanted to keep the internet an arm’s-length away from my daily life. I wanted to share without sharing everything, like a book or a magazine article. I convinced myself for several agonizing months (a year) that it couldn’t be done; I believed that I would have to brand myself in order to gain traction. I just couldn’t do that though, and so, I didn’t. But . . .
I would not leave myself alone. At the conception of this blog I worked in the tech industry and every single day I watched as yet another individual started another website. Every couple of days I would come across a great website that inspired me deeply, fueling the fire: I could do that, too.
Still, I did not give in. I would not let myself succumb to selling my soul on Instagram for “likes” and followers! And, surely, there could be no other way to gain interested readers!
But something happens when I try ignoring myself for too long: the voice in my head gets louder. Having walked to the edge of the chasm and circling it for months, there was no other move to make. So, I leaped.
What happened next is very interesting. After allowing myself to finally be myself – a person who writes and shares her thoughts with others – I found that more doors to myself opened. I got a new job that I actually liked. As an added bonus, I was hired part time as a freelance writer for a major publication. That’s cool stuff!
Fittingly, I am writing this post on the eve of my 28th birthday which is such a blessing. I am grateful to be here in this space of the internet and in my physical life. I’ve worked hard to get to a good place in both spaces, and it is my continued hope that I will be privileged enough to maintain it all for years and years (times infinity). I am delighted that I began a hobby in my late twenties that I can grow throughout adulthood.
And from the beautifully encouraging comments I’ve received and the conversations these posts have sparked both in person and online, I know that my initial fears were unfounded. The best part of having my own space is that it is mine to handle as I wish. I love controlling what content goes out into the world, the aesthetic I’m cultivating, and calling all of the shots. Part of me is always looking for ways to improve and do things in a new way, and this is my very own project with which I can do just that. This space is a gift to myself.
I would like to thank my mother and my aunt for commenting on the posts, talking with me in person about the posts, and talking with each other about the posts. To have had both of your love and support throughout my childhood was amazing. To have it now as an adult is just so special. Thank you for loving and caring for me.
Thank you to my amazingly talented friend Janie who listened to me talk about a tree logo for over a year (I’m sorry) and then created the most authentically Emma logo there could ever be. I am grateful that you shared your time, effort, and creativity with this space. It is 100% more beautiful because of your touch.
Finally, thank you, reader, for reading. For me, this space is cathartic. I am constantly writing posts in my head as I take in my surroundings and the events of my days. I think, I process, I write, I feel better. I need this, and I love that I need it. I especially love that I have it to share with you. So, thank you for your continued reading and sharing in this journey. I’m so glad that we’re here, together.