Saturday! My favorite day of the week. The baby and I take a walk around the lake and enjoy the ducks, trees, and air. My body hurts from my lack of exercise (tight muscles and an aching back). It’s time to get back on the exercise wagon and make my health a priority.
In celebration of the great backer my Grandmother is, I bake pumpkin cookies with chocolate chips and walnuts. They turn out amazing, which makes me proud. In the spirit of self-discovery: I cannot cook well (my dinners are very minimal), but dang I can make a cookie!
I observe people sabotaging themselves in different ways all day long. Most notably, I see someone squander an important opportunity to speak truth into a situation by instead choosing to spread gossip. It was awkward to watch, especially when this person perceived to have done well with the moment, while everyone else saw the ugly truth: self-awareness will make or break you.
I start the day by waking up 30 minutes early to do this video workout. I discovered PopSugar Fitness this winter when the snow and cold kept me indoors. I like each video better than the last, and this one is my new favorite! I appreciate the mix of cardio and deep stretches, and by the end I feel relaxed, rejuvenated, and have a positive outlook on my day.
Honest Update: by 5 PM I am SO OVER IT. No positivity here, folks! I feel frustrated about the things that I cannot change. I fully acknowledge that being angry achieves nothing more beyond ruining my own day.
Driving down the road, I think about this 40 day writing challenge. Capturing the essence of a day in a few sentences has helped me to sift through all of the excess and pinpoint only the important moments. I may not find the take-away for the day right away, but have found that reflection is a powerful tool. The best part of this challenge, and this blog, is that it is all mine: my project, my thoughts, my creativity – all of which can grow unhindered.
So many things could be improved if only the delivery of the message were better. At work, I had someone hang up on me because I delivered my message wrong. It was only after they hung up that I had the “ohhh . . . if only I had said it like this” realization, but of course it was too late. Hand-in-hand with Day 13: here I am sabotaging myself! So annoying!
The forecast for the day: calmness. The whirlwind of crazed activity around me ceases, and it feels weird. No stress or anxiety? And in its place is happiness, lightheartedness, and joy?? Totally weird. I wish I could say this happened because of something internal, that I had achieved nirvana. But the truth is that no annoying people bothered me today, and so my day was great. I do appreciate a nice break from annoying people!
Day 18 – 19
I spent the entire weekend at home, venturing out only for a walk around the neighborhood and to play outside with the boy. It was marvelous! Being around others and emoting all week long is taxing, and I am grateful for the time spent cultivating my inner energy.
It is a bit daunting to consider that I have another 20 days of intentional self-reflection ahead of me. When I started this challenge, I felt excited and eager to see what kind of positive change I might map out for myself. Now, I feel timid. Change is intimidating, and I have a feeling that I’m changing into a woman who keeps herself in check and calls herself out on her own bullshit. Wish me luck!
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